What Do YOU Say When You're Talking to Yourself?

April 3, 2017

Would you ever intentionally make yourself unhappy? Do you realize that you are often unfulfilled because of what you tell yourself? The stories you create in your head about not being good enough are preventing you from following your dreams. You inadvertently talk yourself out of improving your prosperity, relationships, career, sex life, and well-being.

 

Everyone has an inner voice, and sometimes it's useful. Self-talk can be a compass to warn you to steer clear of potential problems. At times, though, the stories in your head can stop you from improving your life. Your voice reminds you not to take risks and not to step out of your comfort zone. As a result, your sense of value lessens, and you lose confidence. You also become regimented and predictable--pretty boring!

 

You can recognize unhelpful inner self-talk because it occurs when you procrastinate. You put off trying new activities or making progress toward goals when the voice appears. It announces that you aren't prepared or skillful enough. It tells you that you'll make a fool of yourself, or that you haven't got the time or energy to succeed. Consequently, you hang back, deciding you may be ready another time. Of course, you are never "ready" to begin chasing your dreams, so the mental process begins again, and you procrastinate.

 

The self-defeating stories you tell yourself are based on fear rather than reality. When you question their validity, they will crumble. If your voice says you shouldn't do something, think about whether there's any truth to what it says. 

 

What would a trusted pal tell you to do? 

 

You'll gain a more accurate perspective if you imagine you're looking at the situation as a good friend would. They probably wouldn't give you the same guidance as your critical inner voice. If excuses spring to mind, consider whether you'll gain more than you'll lose by overriding them. Most likely, the benefits of stretching out of your comfort zone are bigger than not doing so.

 

Your internal voice might create unhelpful stories, which make you shy away from finding joy. However, you can decide not to talk yourself out of being happy. Question the excuses you make that could stop you from improving your life. Soon, such negative thoughts will fade, and your confidence will increase.

 

My challenge for you this week:

 

Confront your inner voice that leads you to an unfulfilled life!

  1. Make a list of things you want to do, but the notion of doing them brings fear to your mind.

  2. Next to each item, describe the fear you experience when thinking about taking action steps to move toward their achievement.

  3. Decide to be courageous and adventurous enough to take intentional action steps for two things you listed.  Along the journey make a mental note of the fears that turned out not to be real.

Do you talk yourself into an unfulfilling life? Stop it! The next time you're saying anything that is critical or negative, recall this week's challenge and remember that it takes courage to step out and do those things that will bring success, achievement, and a fulfilled life!

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